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20 Funny Quotes You Must Like

20 Funny Quotes You Must Like
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Funny Quotes
Here is some selected cool funny quotes for you and I believe you must like the collection .

 

If God made everything, then God must be Chinese?

 – Anonymous

 

May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.

– Anonymous

 

When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it’s already 6:45. When you’re at work and it’s 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it’s 2:31.

– Anonymous

 

Alcohol, what’s that? It’s not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.

– Anonymous

 

If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front.

– Anonymous

 

In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep.

– Anonymous

 

 

 All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.

– Anonymous

 

 Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!

– Anonymous

 

Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a brighter day.

– Anonymous

 

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.

– Unknown

 

If you do a job too well, you’ll get stuck with it.

– Unknown

 

We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.

– Unknown

 

If your life is all about screwing things and getting hammered, then congratulations, you’re a tool.

– Unknown

 

My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.

– Unknown

 

Of course I’m not perfect; there’s a crack in my ass!

– Unknown

 

 Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.

– Unknown

 

I stay up late every night and realize it’s a bad idea every morning.

– Unknown

 

Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was flat? That way we could just push off the people we don’t like.

– Unknown

 

The two best times to keep your mouth shut are when you’re swimming and when you’re angry.

– Unknown

 

Etc. – End of Thinking Capacity.

– Unknown

Source : Google

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Sudipta Kr Maiti
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Sudipta Kr Maiti

Founder at Tune Up Success
Sudipta Kr Maiti-An Engineer- a father-a common man-with -common-life experience- the mind behind Tune Up Success. Want to inspire you with simplicity and openness and promise to enhance your efficiency and capabilities towards success. Welcome, Happy Tuning..!!
Sudipta Kr Maiti
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