Saying thank you – a simple courtesy that takes just a moment. Two little words with zero cost and zero effort but with huge impact.
Do you ever visit Japan? Although I’m not. But one thing I have heard from one of my friend , that almost everywhere he went , people would say “arigato”( that’s Japanese for thank you) with a cheerful smile.
In fact, I realized that instead of saying thank you, I often came up with reasons, excuses or silence. But after sometime I had discovered that, simply saying “thank you” is much more meaningful than anything else.
Do you also find it difficult to say thank you in same situation?
Here are 7 most common situation where you must say “thank you”.
1. When someone complements you
Getting complement is fun and enjoyable. Isn’t it?
But when you deflecting the praise of a genuine compliment, actually you don’t acknowledge the person who was nice enough to say something as well just ruin the experience. Here you may think this prevents you from appearing arrogant or smug.
Simply saying thank you fully acknowledges the person who made the compliment for you and allows you to enjoy the moment as well. Saying “Thank You” gives your mind permission to be built up by the compliments you receive.
There’s no meaning to sabotage the compliments that come your way. Accept them with grace and enjoy the moment.
Example: “Your dress looks great; you are looking really gorgeous today”
Instead of: “Oh, this old one? I’ve had it for years.”
Try to say: “Thank you. I’m glad you like it.”
Example: “You killed your presentation today!”
Instead of: “Did I? I felt so nervous up there. I’m glad it looked alright.”
Try to say: “Thank you. I’m happy it went well till the end!.”
2. When someone give helpful feedback:
Do you become defensive when an unflattering performance reviews from your boss? Or an email from an unhappy client? Nobody likes to accept the feedback but it can be very helpful when you use the information for self improvement.
Example: “This work isn’t good enough. I thought you would do better.”
Instead of: “You don’t understand. Here’s what really happened.”
Try to say: “Thank you for expecting more of me.”
Example: “I am not happy at all with this product .I bought your product last week and it already broke”
Instead of: “How did you use it? We made it very clear in our terms and conditions that the product is not designed to work in certain conditions.”
Try to say: “Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Please know we are committed to becoming better. Can you share more details about the issue?”
3. When you’re receiving unfair criticism
When you thank someone for criticizing you, it immediately neutralizes the power of their statements. It will help to protect growing a larger argument on this subject.
I have written earlier about how to deal with difficult people, but one of the best approaches is to just say thank you and move on.
Releasing the need to win every argument is a sign of maturity. Someone on the internet said something wrong? So what. Win the argument by the way you live your life.
Example: “Your statement is the dumbest thing I’ve read all week.”
Instead of: “You’re an idiot. Let me tell you why…”
Try to say: “Thank you for the feedback. I still have a lot to learn.”
Example: “This might be good advice for beginners, but anyone who knows what they are doing will find this useless.”
Instead of: “Well, clearly, I wrote this for beginners. This might be a surprise, but not everything was written with you in mind.”
Try to say: “Thank you for sharing your opinion. I’ll try to improve next time.”
4. When you’re running late
When we make a mistake, someone else often makes a sacrifice.
Our default response is to apologize for our failure, but the better approach is to praise their patience and loyalty. Thank them for what they did despite your error.
It’s stressful for the person who is running late and it’s disrespectful to the person who is waiting. Most people stumble in the door and say, “Sorry I’m late.”
Example: You are 12 minutes late.
Instead of: “So sorry I’m late. Traffic was insane out there.”
Try to say: “Thank you for your patience.”
5. When you’re comforting someone.
When you are suffering, you don’t want to hear words to ease the pain as much as you need someone to share your pain. I know I’ve faced it several times. Hopefully you too.
Similarly when someone come to you with a bad news, it can be awkward. You want to be a good friend of him/her but you don’t know what to say. Just say “Thank You” and be there.
What we fail to realize is that it doesn’t matter if you don’t know what to say. All you really need is to be present and thank them for trusting you.
Example: Your friend’s pet just died.
Instead of: “At least they had a long and happy life.”
Try to say: “Thank you for sharing that with me. I’m here for you.”
Example: Your co-worker’s mother passed away recently.
Instead of: “At least you have a lot of fond memories to hold onto.”
Try to say: “Thank you for sharing that with me. I know this is a hard time for you.”
Example: Your elder brother lost his job.
Instead of: “At least you have your health.”
Try to say: “Thank you for sharing this with me. I’m here to support you.”
6. When someone gives you unsolicited advice.
Pointing out others faults doesn’t remove your own. Thank people for raising your self-awareness, even if it was unsolicited.
If you go to gym there you can find out everybody has an opinion about what your technique should look like. I think they are just trying to be helpful. But hearing someone’s opinion about you when you didn’t ask for it can be annoying.
The better approach? Just say “Thank You.”
Example: “You know, you should really keep your hips back when you do that exercise.”
Instead of: “Oh really? Do you have a video of yourself doing it so I can see it done correctly?”
Try to say: “Thank you for the help.”
7.When you’re not sure
- When in doubt, just say thank you. There is no downside. Are you honestly worried about showing too much gratitude to the people in your life?
“Should I send a Thank You card in this situation?” Yes, you should.
“Should I tip him?” If you don’t, at least say thank you.
Say thank you, more often.
So there have always been ungrateful people but this doesn’t mean that we are all ungrateful. It will also help you to make others feel good brings good in other unpredictable ways.
Thank you for reading.
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